That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
