I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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