marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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