I'm going to jail i love you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
