Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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