its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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