So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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