i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
