just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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