So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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