So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
