Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just want nice things and good sex
third nipple confirmed
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
