I want to have your abortion
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
