and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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