i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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