I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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