You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
