Whod you bang
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
