i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
