we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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