Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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