Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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