I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
