you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
