Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
