It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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