some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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