2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
