is your mom at the bar?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
