Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
