I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
