i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
