someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
