well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
