i just google imaged poop.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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