We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
