I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
