Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
