My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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