reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
