We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
