Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
