You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think your dad took our porno
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
