I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
