waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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