If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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