I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
