Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
