WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
