I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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